I had never been to counseling before and was more than a little afraid of it. I didn't want someone else to know my business, and I didn't want other people to think that I was crazy. If I'm being honest I think that I associated crazy with broken, and other people seeing me as helpless is what I was really afraid of. I don't know what finally made me go but I went. I signed up with the new intern and for the entire school year I met with her for an hour a week, and she always gave me homework.
In the last two months of the school year she assigned my last project: create a memorial of the time you've spent working. Something that you can look back on and recall the ways God has grown and changed you through the counseling experience. You may not know this, but I can be pretty stubborn sometimes. I resisted a lot at first because it seemed childish and silly. She said I could make whatever I wanted but I had no idea where to even start. Finally I made something, I brought it in and showed it to her. She approved, but that wasn't the point. The point was that I'd made it and that hopefully I'd use it.
It's two years later and I'm sitting in a little house in North Carolina two months into a masters program. When I first moved here I was freaking out. I knew I wanted to teach but NOTHING was as I expected it. I doubted the choices I had made and I doubted my ability to accomplish what I'd committed to. I also doubted that God had really put me here. Two weeks before I moved I was confident in what I was doing and that it was God's leading. How quickly I had forgotten.
Last week a dear friend texted and asked for prayer because she was going through a hard time and her heart was heavy. I wrote to her and told her of this box, I told her how remembering the Lord's faithfulness is what brought me through the hardest of those days. I know that he has gifted me and prepared me for what I'm undertaking but sometime I have to remind myself of that. Sometimes I have to remind myself of it a lot.
Friend, whatever you are going through, God is there. He has not left you and he has no plans to do so. As you fearfully face what's before you reflect on the work that the Lord has done in you and in your life. Comfort yourself in the confirmation of his presence and his care. The Lord is eternally faithful, it is we that like sheep have gone astray.
1 Corinthians 10:13 is one of my favorite passages. It reads :
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
The word that's translated temptation can also mean trial, temptations are trial but so are times of doubt and unrest, times of moving and confusion. These try our faith and test us, even then God does not give us more than we are able to bear and he does not leave us to walk through these trials alone. Praise the Lord!