Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Day 2 of 74 or day 1 of 352

Right now I'm working on my third week of Graduate school in NC. I'm from St. Louis and I recently wrapped up a four year degree in GA so this was a huge transition. I wrote a post the first weekend when I was feeling miserable but never posted it. Today, now that I'm more adjusted and feeling 'withit' I want to share some of those initial insecurities and how they've grown.
                                                      
Let's start with a (I guess this word works) rant from the Eliza of May 30:  Two weeks ago I graduated from college. Two days ago I moved into a new dorm. Until now I've lived in the same dorm, same floor for four years. This dorm is not that dorm. That dorm is my home, I'm not sure what this dorm is. Today I started my graduate degree and it's going to be a whirlwind. Leaving college I felt ready and excited. Now I just feel doubtful, I don't have confidence in my own abilities and I often don't have confidence in the God that put me here.

I am different from the people I've met so far that's a fact and it's not one that is going to change. I have grown up in small Christian environments with like minded people who helped me to grow and mature but never caused me to question the boundaries. These two months are not going to be that experience, at least I don't think so. Last night I was hanging out with three girls in the OT program and one mentioned that she was going to mass email the group about going to the bar Friday night. What?? I've never been to a bar, let alone with 36 people that I don't know. Fingers crossed I don't get invited and thus have to figure out the least awkward way to say no.
Ok, we'll stop there. If you know me you know I was FREAKING OUT something fierce. I hadn't taken the time to breath and to really think through the judgments I was making and I was acting without patience. I have a few tips to share with you, and also with myself, about making a good transition.

1. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. I think that this applies both to the people that you are meeting but also to your time with the Lord during the transition. Once I picked up my Bible and started listening I was able to have more patience and trust because I knew who had placed me here. As for the people around, the first weekend is not a good way to gauge the rest of the semester. Day 1 of our first full week we were ALL busy. The OT girl more so than me and as a result there has been no partying.

2. Remind yourself what you're here for. I have friends who are good at doing this for me. It doesn't matter who does it but remember the good things that made you choose this place and keep looking for more.

3. Work out! This is huge for me, running helps with my stress. I need to work out consistently to keep my self level headed. If the same is true for you than this is not the time to skip a work out.

I know that I'm feeling much more at home now, I've still got issues I need to work on and issues I want to point out to someone but overall I'm enjoying this again.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Last First Day

I'm two classes in to my last first day of college. Spring semester here at Covenant has begun with a rather mild day and I hope it stays that way. There is snow predicted for tomorrow and I don't want it. At all.
I'm excited about this semester and a fresh crop of classes as well as the prospect of getting accepted to graduate school and figuring out what my first year out of school will look like. Ready for a new year does not even begin to sum up my feelings about starting again. Last year was sad, hard, lonely, and trying in a lot of different ways. I know that those emotions will come up again and some of the same issue even but I also feel more prepared. During my last week of classes a lot happened back home and it was hard to hear about it and not be there but it was also hard to be here and still do school because that didn't feel important to me anymore. As a result I didn't feel like myself and felt completely off my game the last two weeks. In the three weeks that I was home it was determined that my parents are getting divorced. The catalyst for that was all that things happening while I was at school. But now people know, not just any people, but the best people. My boss and his wife as well as his boss and his wife, my wonderful staff, and my sophomores. My core friends knew as soon as I knew but they won't be around and I knew that if I was going to make it I needed to explain what was happening. To me that feels like an early apology or an excuse for something I might say, do, or feel this semester. In reality it's a way to let other people love me, a way in which I can call upon my church family and allow them to minister to me and my family during this time. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop telling myself that asking for help doesn't make you week but I hope that one day it sinks in.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Nacho Fest 2013

I try and tell non Covenant people about Nacho Fest and I always feel like it comes out weird. Nacho Fest is a building event in which students from around campus come over to get some Nachos. The start in the lobby where they get a bowl of chips and then travel through the six halls to get all their toppings. The whole event has a theme and this years was book series. I love books, this should have been a piece of cake. Not. A week before the event we decide to do the library and had some great ideas about how to parody the Covenant library. Due to some misscommunications I found out Tuesday that we couldn't do that and then we spent the next few days trying to decide what to do and not coming to any agreement. In the meantime I was trying to write a paper and help my little brother with some stuff that was going on at home. 

 
 

We ended up doing American Girls. The concept was that it would be meet the dolls day at the store. Different people were dressed as characters and others as store employees, we we even had a broken doll at the hospital. Despite the dysfunction and frustration on my part the whole thing came off really well and we were proud of what we put together. It was a blessing to see my girls come together and do something with very little of my involvement. I was also bless to have a good chat with one of my girls afterwards just catching up on life. I hadn't talked with her much and she was part of my frustration so it was good to be reminded that she's a sweet fun girl and that I didn't need to be frustrated with her :)


 
 I think my favorite part of the night was going to dinner in the Great Hall with everyone as soon as it was over still in our doll costumes. We had accomplished something great and were just having a good time being with one another.

 
On a side note, I'm pretty sure I have the most beautiful hall on campus. Fact.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I Never Do Stuff Like This:Nashville Trip

So, I have this friend EL and she's fabulous. Right now she's currently at Vandy living large and going to nursing school. She's also got a car which means that she's coming down to visit us a few times. KJ and I are carless but we got our act together and rod the MegaBus to Nashville and spent the weekend with her. I had spent fall break with my Nana and Ted about a week before and it was quite relaxing physically but being with these girls for three days and being able to talk about anything or just sit quietly was just what I needed. 

We're on a BUS!
Taking a tour of the Med campus
 
Getting some delish artisan ice cream and Jenni's 

Monday, December 9, 2013

Soccer!

So here at Cov Cov we're all about soccer. That's right soccer. We ain't got no football team. My freshmen year room mate was friends with a few of the guys on the team and drug us to games all that season. After that we were hooked. Fall nights now mean spending our nights out by the field cheering on our Scots. Here are a few photos from my last year of Covenant soccer. Enjoy
Homecoming Weekend for he win.
Waiting for those fireworks
LL a friend from freshman year came back to visit :)
Senior Night
Those senior boys 

Getting our dance on during halftime

Friday, December 6, 2013

Jazz on the Overlook

So the next dance after Kilter, which happens in the first month of the year before anyone really meets anyone, is Jazz on the Overlook. It's a casual, date-free, swing dance during homecoming. Last year I was on duty and couldn't leave the building but this year I made sure I was free. Overall it was a fun night, I got asked to dance a couple of times and dance a lot with KJ and EL. We've come along way in our dance, back in freshman year they would not dance with me in public and look at us now. 
My stunning hall mates
 
 

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Kilter

Kilter is Cov's Sadie Hawkins dance, this years theme was Karibbean (yes it always starts with a 'K') and was at the Aquarium. I've been to Kilter once before this and I'd never asked anyone but that was going to change. So I asked a friend of mine that I knew would be fun and not awkward, I got a plastic seashell and filled it with candy and sent it to him in the campus mail. It was a cute on theme invite and it was still two weeks before the dance. He'd already been asked. So I went with plan B and asked KJ who proved to be a fantastic date and we had a blast!
Pre-Kilter with SG and JE. 
My gorgeous date KJ